RNGesus
RNGesus is the supreme god of anything with dice or a random number generator. It is he who decides the fate of all dice-based things and he who determines who shall thriumph and who shall be defeated. Descrpition RNGesus is said to bear heavy resemblence to Jesus Christ, but with a D20 die for a head. This, of course, is only an guess of his true form taken from the only known image of him: a blurry photo filled with light. All who look upon RNGesus either burn to ashes or ascend to a higher plane of existance, depending on his decision. RNGesus reigns over the Realms of Entropy, where he holds such titles as King of the Dice, Supreme Lord of Arbitrariness, Master of Nerd-Luck, Savior-Destroyer of souls, the Black-and-White-Yin-and-Yang-Alpha-and-Omega, Conquerer of Calculation, Subjugator of Statistics, Duke of D&D, and High Buttlord of the Randomness Council. Worship Rituals There are many ways to gain favor with RNGesus, which work depending on his mood. The most effective way to become one of the RNG Lord's approved followers(known as Arbitrarians) is known as the Datum Method, a six-step process wherein one casts aside logic and reaffirms his belief in the entropic ways of RNGesus. The steps are as follows: # Shut yourself inside a perfectly geometric box made out of a mix of marble, cardboard, and asbestos and drenched in llama sweat. The box must be completely dark inside and the length of each side must be no greater than six feet. # Sit on your head and chant the words "Curry basalt jumping bear" for three days non-stop. If you fall over, you must start this step again. This time, try to have stronger faith in the RNG. # Take up any position you like inside the box now. Wait within until you start to see numbers on the walls of the box. The numbers must be bright orange and written in the Terminal font. If you see any number that does not match this description, you have not completed this step. # Once you have spent three minutes making sure the numbers are genuine, kick two holes in the side of the box with your feet and use them as leg holes. You must now run to the nearest 7-Eleven like this, with only your legs sticking out of the box. # Once you arrive at the 7-Eleven, smash the box up against the drink fountain until the fountain breaks. # Go outside and find a chicken. Any chicken will do. Get the chicken to peck a hole into and side of the box. Now get yourself out of the box somehow. If you performed these steps correctly, you will have a seizure immediately upon removing yourself from the box. Do not fight the seizure. Seizures are RNGesus way of accepting you into his holy kingdom of randomness. You can now call yourself a true arbitrarian. You should probably say the Arbitrarian's Prayer, which goes like this: "Oh great selected RNGesus title here, you are truly the ficklest and greatest of the Buttlords. I hereby devote myself to you, please accept this token". There are many traditional Arbitrartian tokens of sacrifice, too many to list here. A common sacrifice is a jar of chocolate pickles. RNGesus loves chocolate pickles.